Nana...

my nana passed away years ago... but around the holidays i always think of her. her piroshki's were the BEST! i sat with her one day and as we made it together, i wrote it all down...

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she wouldn't speak much of her past, but she smoked 3 packs a day and always had ricola in a fancy dish. coffee and tea was never far away...  her place always smelled of old cigarettes and moth balls. and she wasn't much for socializing in the old folks home, heh, i think she thought they were all tail chasers...

i wish i had taken more pictures. i wish i had asked more about her. she was an interesting, proud, self-sufficient russian lady that seemed more than okay to be on her own... when ever we talked on the phone she would hang up abrubtly, because she was done talking... it never even occured that the 'normal' thing to do was say 'goodbye, love you'

i was young. i just didn't know how to relate, but as i grow older i think we may have been a lot alike and the opportunity to really connect has been missed...

my brother and i stayed up all night before her funeral drinking and talking and crying... i have never been so hungover in the sad heat...

unfortunately i have moved sooo many times and her beloved recipie has been lost...

but i am determined to have those piroshkis made and enjoyed by my family. but i won't overshoot... christmas 2010!  not enough hours in the day to have it done this year...

i was hoping to post pictures of her when she was a teenager, but i can't find any... i sure hope my sister has them...

goodbye for now xo